Why The Nintendo 64 Is Better Than Your Xbox 360 Or Playstation 3

Some of you may have an argument you would like to put forward in the "360 vs PS3" argument, the old 'Microsoft vs Sony' debate that has been plaguing gaming forums for a good few years now.

The intelligent arguments you hear from the fan boys.

Well I have the answer. Neither of the consoles is better. And neither of them compare to the greatness of the Nintendo 64.

"Wut r u tlkin bout?!1?! U cnt ply CODMW2 on teh nint3ndo 64zz!!1!!! LAWLZ and it is liek 1 gazilliun yeerz awld!!1!!1/ derpde."

-- 12 Year Old Boy

I think I have the perfect right to say this as I actually own a 360. I personally prefer it to the Playstation purely because you can't get Left 4 Dead for the PS3. Left 4 Dead probably being one of the few exciting and fun FPS games on the new consoles. But with that argument, you can get L4D for PC and FPS games are so much better with a mouse. Look at me with all my acronyms! I'm like a proper little geek, me!

I know that in recent years, it has become 'cool & hip' to be in to retro gaming. I think any one that knows me in person knows that I have always had a consistent dealing with old consoles. Admittedly, I don't own as many as I would like, but I do have a NES, which was in fact my first games console, that I do still occasionally wire up and play my old favourite, Chip 'n' Dale: Rescue Rangers!

As usual, I'm getting a little carried away and off topic. But my point is this; there is one console that I believe has been consistently present in my life since I recieved it as an excited little man one Christmas. That console is the Nintendo 64. This console, I think, has made me who I am today. This admittedly may not be a good thing, but it's how it is. The Nintendo 64 is a bringer-together of people. It is a conqueror of boredom. It is a king amongst consoles.

I'm getting the self-made pictures in tonight!

So why do I think the Nintendo 64 is better than the modern consoles?
Here we go!

1. The Games Are Actually Fun

I don't know if any one has seen someone else playing an Xbox 360 or PS3 game? No one seems to actually ENJOY the games they are playing. All the games are ridiculously competitive and as soon as someone starts losing, they start getting mad. Call of Duty is probably the best example of this; I don't think I know anyone who plays this and has fun as oppose to falling out with eachother and shouting and taking it too seriously. Games on the N64 were designed for the sole purpose of being fun. Also, you'll never find a good adventure platform game on the new age consoles, just FPS after fucking boring FPS.

2. The N64 Was Built To Last

 

You hear so many stories about the 'oh so dreaded' RROD (Red Ring Of Death) and that idiotic little orange light that the PS3 gets when they get 'too hot'. What kind of piece of shit consoles are built with the intentions of breaking? Not the Nintendo 64. I've had my console for about 10 years, I believe, and it works as well as it did on the day that I got it. It gets a lot of play time so that can't be the reason. And obviously, as retro gaming is becoming cool, there are obviously a lot of other old consoles knocking about.

3. The Games Are Timeless

Games like Super Mario 64, Conkers Bad Fur Day and Banjo-Kazooie will never become irrelevent to gaming. They will all have a permanent place in gaming history. Ever wonder why they keep remaking them? There's all the Banjo remakes on the 360 Live Market, Goldeneye just got re-released for the Wii, Super Mario 64 had that remake for the DS. There are probably tonnes more but from the top of my head, that's all I have. Games like Halo and Call Of Duty will eventually become boring and outdated. As soon as a newer and better version comes out, the originals will be forgotten.

4. The Controls Are Actually Good

This is sort of similar to the 'Built To Last' part, but it is deserving of it's own point. Seymour is a bit of an angry gamer and when he gets mad, he throws the controllers around. He broke one of them by doing this. The 64 controllers have been thrown around countless times but they are working fine. They don't break and they don't malfunction. They are easily better than your moronic wireless controls. And look at them! They are the coolest looking controls you will ever see.

5. Who Needs Live Play..

When you've got real life friends? 64 controller are so cheap now, that you could probably get four for half the price of a new 360 or PS3 controller. In fact, you could probably buy a whole console with four controllers and a couple of games and still have change for a rumble pack. So now you've got 4 controls and a copy of Mario Kart 64; set it up and you're pretty much set for the whole night. Everyone will have a laugh even if they're not playing. Set up Call of Duty and you're in for a night with no one talking because you need to concentrate, and it will be a generally bad time had by everyone, including those playing.

6. You Don't Get N64 Snobs

With the Playstation 3 owners, there is a definite feeling of being better-than-you-and-everything-you-own. With the Xbox 360 owners, there is a definite feeling of being better-than-you-at-every-game-you-will-ever-play-or-own. With Nintendo 64 owners, you don't get any of this, people with this console just want to play and have a good time. A really good time. You know what guys? I don't care if your console has "better specs" (whatever the fuck that means), or "better graphics". Without my console, yours probably wouldn't exist.

 7. You Don't Have To Play Against Assholes

I know, I know; I've gone back to the Live point. But Live on both the Xbox and the Playstation is plagued with people calling people faggots and sending personal messages about you being a "nub tubber" and other stupid things like that. With the Nintendo; if someone, for example Marc, is being an asshole, John and I can team up and steal all of his coins and stars and treat him like a total Luigi. If you do that on Live, you'll probably get kicked or banned.

8. Everything Is Ever So Colourful

Some people don't like this, but I think because of the graphic limitations, the Nintendo couldn't really make countless brown and grey games, so all of the games are colourful and generally eye pleasing. You can see exactly what you're doing and levels actually look cool. Rather than looking exactly the same as the last level, each level is new and exciting. Looking at these games makes you actually want to play them rather than sitting in your room crying because some body stole your care package.



So yeah, if you couldn't tell, I think I definitely prefer the Nintendo. Although, I'm a little unsure as to whether it's the actual consoles and games that I dislike, or just the people playing them. There is nothing worse than a Sony or Microsoft fan boy.