10 Things That I Wouldn't Complain About If You Bought Them For Me (Part 3)

I think these posts are becoming my go-to when I don't have anything of interest to say. I suppose it's definitely much easier to find a bunch of pictures of cool stuff and then write about it, than it is to write about nothing, or even beginning to think about what there is to write about.

I like to think I keep this place pretty fresh, but I think this post says exactly the opposite. Maybe I'll catch second wind.

So yeah, this is the third one of these I've done; if you haven't already, please have a look at my other ones:
Part 1
Part 2.

1. Legolas Plush.

I can only assume that this is made by the same people as the Alex from Clockwork Orange one featured in Part 2. What makes me think that? Well they look fairly similar, and... Well okay, you've caught me. I looked it up, happy? I assume (this time for real) that they've done the rest of the Fellowship, but Legolas was my favourite so I didn't really feel like I needed to really have a look, although I bet Gimli is pretty cool. The only thing is that this is only really any good for looking at on account of it being so adorable, but I don't think you could do any sharp shooting with a bow and arrow. And he has a cape. I like capes.

2. Magnetic Bacon Bookmark.

Call me a square, but I actually enjoy reading; and anyway, you can't be THAT opposed to it if you're reading this in the first place. "But you're a vegetarian! Why would you want a bookmark that looks like bacon! Surely that's condoning the slaughter of thousands of innocent cows pigs!" Fuck off! I want a bookmark that looks like bacon because it's cute. Just because I don't eat it, doesn't mean I can't appreciate it when it's made cute and given a face and a function. I know you can't buy these, but there's a PDF download so you can print one out here. (There is also a pencil, a pickle, a plaster and a ruler. Also, if you switch out the set1 in the url with a set2, there is a set of traffic lights, a rainbow, some weird sheepy thing, a paint pallet and something that I can't even begin to identify).

3. Boss Distortion Pedal Computer Mouse.

It's a USB Mouse that looks like an effects pedal! That is some cool stuff right there! The dials act as the buttons, and there is a scroller on the side. It's a shame it doesn't actually work as a pedal, but it's a cool idea. I don't think there are very many of these and they sold out really quickly, so I'd imagine they cost quite a lot on Ebay. It'd probably be cheaper to buy an actual pedal and adapt it into a working pedal/mouse combo, although I don't have the skill to do this. I'll give it one hell of a go though. Mark my words, Boss, mark my words.

4. Shark Sleeping Bag.

This is probably the coolest product of any type that you could ever even hope to find. Ever! Who doesn't want it to looks like they are being devoured by some weird mutant Shark that can somehow move on land every time they sleep? I know it is definitely something I have desired for a very long time. I think if I had one of these, I would undoubtedly spike one of my friends with acid, and then go to sleep in this, but set up a camera and just hope they don't kill me in some technicoloured effort to save me from the shark. Maybe that isn't the best idea I've ever had.

5. Rubiks Cube Mug.

I think this is definitely the best mug ever made. I don't even really like the Rubiks Cube that much, and I have never even come close to solving it. I know there is like a trick to doing it, but I just don't have the patience to look it up and learn it. I think any frustrating puzzle game would probably be made acceptable if it was turned into a mug. I think anything that people don't like (within reason) could be made likeable if it was turned into a mug.

6. Mario Kart Board Game.

Admittedly, I'd say this looks less like a board game, than just an epic two player version of Screwball Scramble. I assume each pinball is a car, and you have to navigate the course to win. I must confess that I wouldn't have looked twice if this wasn't covered in Super Mario, it's a cool concept I guess, but I don't think it's being sold outside of Japan. I'd only really want to play so I could sing the rainbow road song when it got to that part.

7. De-Fib Toaster.

This is only a conceptual product, unfortunately. If they were real, I can't deny that they would be highly impractical, but imagine the scene. You've just woken up and you need some breakfast... "1, 2, CLEAR! I DON'T THINK HE'S GOING TO MAKE IT!" Admittedly, this would definitely end in so many burns if it was left around whilst everybody was drinking. I'd keep it in the Left 4 Dead backpack from Part 1 with the blood and some PIIILLLLLLLLLZZZ!

8. Hamburger Speaker.

"What's with all the meaty based products today, Mr Vegetarian?!" Well these are just undeniably cool products. It's very self explanitory; so I shouldn't need to tell you that it is literally a speaker that looks like a hamburger, huh? Well I feel that I did, so I did. I think it would be better if it was a speaker that you could just put in a regular hamburger. Or if it came apart into the separate components of a hamburger, each one playing a different layer of the sound. Maybe I'm just too picky?

9. Space Invaders Calendar.

I think I'm just quite a big fan of calendars. I'm still yet to buy one for this year, but maybe they'll be on offer, that'd be rate convienient. It's kind of difficult to see from the picture, but each Invader represents a day, you can write stuff on it, I guess, and then when the day has passed, you scribble it out. It's like shooting them wit a sharpie rather than a fairly ambiguously shaped tank/ship thing. Each colour group represents a month, and it's all very simple to work out really.

10. Lego Torch Keyring.

I fucking love Lego, and if you don't, I think you need your head checked. You can build all kinds of stuff with those little plastic brick things. Like James May built a literal house with them! There is no boundary for what those things can do. Well except for making round things, that is limited for the obvious reasons. I'd want to buy millions of these and make a house out of them, and then I would somehow turn them all on, and it would act as a security system to ward away burglars and anti-social behaviourists (yes, it's got a new title that I didn't make up just then).