I Hate Valentine's Day

Just from reading this title, I think you can definitely tell what angle I'll be taking with this post. If you couldn't tell, try reading the title again. Maybe tilt your head a little bit, like a confused puppy? Still not got it?

I don't like Valentine's Day, is the general gist.

My original plan for this next paragraph or so was to write about the origins of Valentine's Day and how they had been lost to all of the commercial elements. I then realised that I have no idea whatsoever of any of the actual origins, so decided to look them up on Wikipedia, the world's most accurate and reliable source of information. Fuck me, Valentine origins or boring. There was something about two saints, and a distinction and no romantic implications until the 14th century. Get the yawns in?

My understanding of Valentine's Day is that it's based around this little weird little baby-faced fellow in a nappy, who just flies around shooting people with his little heart bow and arrow and that. These people then fall in love with the first person they see, or something? So this little baby man did this, so they thought, we can't really stop him in case the government get mad and make us pay a load of money; so we'll limit him to doing it once a year. So then everyone was falling in love on this date, and Clinton Cards decided they weren't making people pay too much for everything they sell (over £2 a card. Preposterous!) so would make a day that was mandatory for every one who is romantically involved to take part in.

"Well that doesn't sound too bad," you naively say. "Surely there can't be anything wrong with everyone falling in love?"

Well surprisingly, there can.

1. Valentine's is an open door for people in a relationship to rub it in on people not in a relationship.

You may have sensed a slight aura of bitterness in that list heading, unless you were one of the people who didn't sense my dislike of Valentine's from the blog title. And also, before we get on, I didn't warn you of the obligatory list! Aren't you proud? Well yeah, St V's seems to be an excuse for every one in the world to openly mock you for being on your own. "Buy roses for your Valentine." "Buy a card for your Valentine." Leave me alone, yeah! I don't have a bloody Valentine, hence the reason I'm giving the woman behind the counter daggers for asking me if I'd like a bag with hearts on it. Yeah, we get it. You have a boyfriend/girlfriend and you are happy. Get over it. You're not that special. Chances are you aren't even gonna make it in the long run anyway; she'll find someone with a better body, he'll find somebody who doesn't have a migraine at all the wrong times.

2. The build up to, and let down from the day are unbearable.

Is it not enough to have a day dedicated to all things 'love'? The card shops stock up pretty much days after Christmas is over, and the couples go on for fucking weeks before and after. "Ooh, I found this amazing whatever for whoever, he or she is going to love it. I love Valentine's!" "Best Valentine's ever! Whoever got me whatever and I love it! Now we're gonna go cuddle on the sofa and do other generally acceptable Valentine's activities." You know what I'm going to do in the lead up to St V's? Fuck all. I'm probably going to get really drunk with Riddles and hang out with some cool people and have a generally very busy gigging weekend. What am I doing on Valentine's? I have College. And I don't think I ever do anything on a Monday night, so probably nothing. Usually doing nothing is a non-issue, but for a day considered to be a day of love, this is pretty fucking dyer.

3. There is no day dedicated specifically to people who aren't in love.

It would be generous to say that this idea was even in its infancy. I'd say this idea is still very much in that stage of being a foetus where it looks kind of like one of those rubber chickens. I haven't even thought of a name for it, but I'm sure once we have a name and maybe a slogan, this could definitely catch on! Everyone who is single could rally together and have a really good time, and everyone who is in a relationship (in a relationship) cannot take part. They are banned. We could throw it on the 13th of February, and get Valentine's Day cards, and draw cracked lines through all of the hearts and make all of the characters looks slightly sad. We could start a revolution! Who's with me? Oh no one? SOUNDS JUST LIKE VALENTINE'S DAY, HUH?!

4. It's like pairing up in science class all over again.

Valentine's gives everyone the impression that they have to be with someone. And whoever is left over doesn't even get the embarrassment of having to work with the teacher; they have to work on their own whilst everyone else makes a really big song and dance about the fact that they have a lab partner. Maybe this isn't the greatest comparison, but I think you probably get the general idea.

5. Worst of all, you get all of the 'singletons' complaining about how shit Valentine's is going to be this year; again.

I feel like Thurston Moore in Be Safe. "I realise that I could be all those little hateful things, and then I hate myself for realising that." I'm one of those people that you find complaining about people who are complaining about the thing they are complaining about themselves. If that made any sense at all? I think I just like to complain, full stop. The only thing that changes is the topic. Despite me writing a whole blog about my dislike, and then instantly posting a link to it via my Facebook page, you won't find me posting one of those whiny statuses like, "Another lonely Valentine's." I like to think this isn't a cry for attention of kinds, it is more of an explaining my reasoning for disliking it slightly.



Yes, I do realise that I would most probably quite enjoy the ol' St V's if I was in a relationship, but I'm not, so at least leave me my right to moan.